Have you ever noticed that people tend to side-step or ignore scriptures that make them uncomfortable? Well, this scripture is one of those for me! Rather than pretending it's not in the Bible anymore - I'm going to deal with it.
I'm never going to grow and mature in my Christian faith or in my life if I don't finally face the fact that I need to put God first in every part of my life. I can not just keep segmenting my life apart and inviting God into some sections and telling Him to stay out of another section. If I want God's help with my tendency toward binge eating during a low, then I have to open the door and ask Him to come in. I can't just stand on the other side of the closed (and locked) door and yell, "Lord, help me!" It doesn't work that way. God will never force Himself into my life. I have to take the first step and ask Him to walk into the dark places with me and provide a way of escape, which He promises to do and He is faithful to deliver on that promise.
I hear people say, "God doesn't want me to have fun anymore". Those folks have never been with me when I'm with my Christian friends! Fun does not begin to describe it! I can honor my God with my entire life and have fun on this earth at the same time. It's not a difficult concept in my mind - but I do have that one little corner to surrender - and I'm working on it.
They cried out to God during the battle, and he answered their prayer because they trusted in him... - 1 Chronicles 5:20
I choose this day to trust God completely with this battle called diabetes. I want Him to help me with the goals I've set. He's helped me get off of insulin and get the correct dosage of Metformin. I trust that He will continue to guide me through this maze of confusion. But today I'm handing over the reins - today the tendency to binge eat ends!
There are tons of articles that discuss the "rationale" and the strange connection between low blood sugar and binge eating. They make it sound as if it's a natural part of the disease to go on a complete pig-out when experiencing low blood sugar! Well - it's just over-compensating behavior in my mind. Even though - I get it - I'm not really of sound mind when I'm in the "low state" to use common sense to make wise food choices - I'm just sort of grabbing something - then something else - then... But once you've over-eaten, then you're faced with high blood sugar and that's just as bad as the low. It really does become like the roller-coaster ride from hell! I don't want to be on this ride anymore!!! Stop this ride and let me off!!!
Also, when your blood sugar is so out of whack - either low or high - it's quite difficult to keep emotions in check. When it's too low, I'm like a whacked out fruitcake who doesn't know which end is up - and I'm like, "Oh, okay - whatever." Then when it's too high I have a tendency to become a real crab cake and I'm like, "Just get out of my way!"
Please help me to navigate this journey better. There is so much I really don't understand, but I do know that how I feel on a physical level also directly effects my mental state. When my sugars are too high, I do not like what I become. Somehow, if You could just show me a better way to get my blood sugar back to normal without over-shooting and going too high, I'd really appreciate that. I don't want to be a whacked out zombie or a crab cake anymore. I just want to be Linda. I thank You and praise You for what You are going to do in my life today and in the days to come.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
This song reminds me of how I feel when I'm having a low...